Yesterday marked the first day of Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) also known as Intimate Partner Violence. What does it mean to you? Are you a survivor? I am a resident of Massachusetts and this year we have had a total of 19 People, 3 Men and 16 Women lose their lives to Domestic Violence by way of homicide. Our last victim was just one week ago. So I’ll ask again, what does DVAM mean to you? You may not have been abused or you may not know someone who has either way Domestic Violence is real and it is a problem. We can’t and we should not turn our backs to the issues that we hear or know of that occur every minute, every second of the day. Domestic Violence is an epidemic that has and will effect many. Do you know that even while reading this post that someone is being abused? Or how about the fact that I wrote this last night and God only knows how many people were in danger or were in an unsafe situation. What’s more scarier than that is how many incidents were never reported to the police and how many people did not get help. There are many reasons why someone who has been victimized did not speak up. There are so many reasons that it is too much to write. But, I will say this regardless of why a person didn’t find the courage to speak up you still have to admit that help is needed. But how? Well, I will tell you that if you are being abused there is help for you and if you know someone who is suffering from being abused you can report the abuse too. Better yet, you should.
Domestic violence is not just an issue for the victim, it is a problem for the children who may be involved. When children become witnesses to domestic violence it can and will scar them for life. Domestic Violence takes away their innocence. Domestic Violence will forever alter the inner soul of a child from properly flourishing. Oh and did you forget about your family members and friends? If you know that you are truly loved then you should know that for every time you didn’t leave, for every time that you kept silent and for every time you went back to your abuser, your loved ones were hurting too.
I am a Survivor of Domestic Violence and trust me it damn sure wasn’t easy making it through the storms. Hell, a lot of times there was fire and the fuel was always him. It’s easy for me to tell you that you did nothing wrong. It’s easy for me to say that you’re not alone. But, let me say this. I can reassure you that you will know and believe it the moment that you decide to tell someone about your abuse and start the process of changing your environment.
The rewards of letting your burdens go, peaceful freedom,salvation, perseverance, love, motivation, self- care, and advocacy is attainable. You just have to get your heart and your mind in sync with each other. Stop finding a variety of reasons that you think are more important than your well-being, stop thinking about the good times that you once had in your relationship (those moments left the second you felt pain, insulted or fear), believe in yourself and love yourself enough to get help.
Let me be honest with you, it took me a long time before I decided to speak up and start addressing the heinous, foul and disrespectful things that my child’s father did to me. I seriously can’t believe, that you can create a life with a person who turns around and violates you. They strip you of everything that made you the person you were. What I thought was love was actually sabotage and treachery. Making the decision to tell the truth and to stop hiding those “dirty little” secrets, is the very reason of why I wrote this blog. My story of how he would beat me for the littlest things and how he was not a man but a boy who wasn’t ready and appropriately prepared for life (by his own undoing) is the premise and foundation of my movement.
To anyone who is suffering from abuse and afraid to speak up there is help and healing. Take it me from me…I know.